We hear it all the time, from all sorts of places.

You can’t do that in the new economy.

You can’t expect that in the new economy.

That just can’t happen in the new economy.

So many people are waiting until the new economy turns around, rebounds, transforms into the new new economy. They are afraid to take a risk, afraid to try something new, afraid to ask for anything. It’s like that famous scene in Oliver! where all the children are hungry because no one wants to ask for more.

People and organizations are paralyzed with fear. Fear of risk, fear of losing, fear of being slapped by the head of the orphanage. Call me crazy, but I think there’s opportunity to move when everyone else is standing still. It’s all about clarity and focus.

Lately, I’ve found it easier for people to respond with a “yes” when my asks are much more specific than usual. Here’s an example:

Non-specific Ask and Response:
Would you be interested in working with me?
Well, not right now. I’m still investigating other options. I don’t know if I’ll have the time.

Specific Ask and Response:
Do you think you could invest 10 hours over the next 90 days to get your message refocused and get over your fears of asking for what you want?
Yes, I think I can take that on. What’s the next step?

You can help people break their paralysis. Try asking them for something specific, maybe something small initially. That small, initial “yes” can lead to a bigger, deeper relationship and a much larger “yes” down the road.

Following our discussion of the words we use to ask for money…

Some of your discomfort around asking for money may come out of the words you’re using. Being less than direct can make you feel like you’re trying to put one over on the person on the other side of the table. You may also be afraid that the words you’re using make you sound (or feel) like a sleazy salesperson.

This fear may actually arise from a lack of self-confidence or self-esteem, and be exacerbated by your discomfort with the words you’re using. Belief in your own value, coupled with deep-down passion about what you’re asking for, allows your own light of confidence to shine through. A clear definition of the value you bring (or the value your organization provides, or the value of your start-up’s idea) is the critical anchor of your request for money.

This logo is a trademark of the National Football League

Let’s use a couple of Super Bowl ads to make this point:

Monster.com’s commercial showed that their service is so valuable they could even help a Beaver Violinist get a job.

Snickers showed their candy bar is valuable enough that it could turn a muddy, football-playing Betty White back into the young male “one of the guys”, and the tagline “You’re not you when you’re hungry” reinforced their message.

Now, if you had enough money to do your own ad, you probably wouldn’t be concerned about building your “ask-for-money” skills. For the rest of you…

Conquer the Fear of Appearing Sleazy by listing the major reason your business idea/cause/consulting practice is important to you. Use your own words–don’t try to take on someone else’s style or phrasing. If the language does not ring true for you, change it. The person on the other side of the table will always sense when you are uncomfortable, and it will make them uncomfortable as well.

Take the time now to get your major reason clear, in your own language, and in your own style. These will become the basis for all of your communications–web pages, social media, email newsletters, brochures, business plans, etc. Make yourself comfortable, and your audiences will be comfortable too.

Now, those of you that know me well may have read the title of this post with a New Yawk accent, and a slightly obnoxious attitude. Like, “Whaddya askin’ for?” And expecting it to be followed closely by, “Who wants to know?” You would be wrong.

I simply mean to get you to think about exactly what you are asking for. Especially when you’re asking for money.

Don't you really want to ask for this?

There are lots of words for money. Here in the US, we sometimes call it “moolah”, “Benjamins”, “bucks”, and “greenbacks”. We also know that when we hear those words, the speaker is referring to a pile of paper legal tender. Too often, we are way less clear when we are actually asking for some of the stuff.

We ask for “support”. We ask for “resources”. We ask for “assistance”. If we’re being slightly less nebulous, we ask for “funding”. Or we ask for “investment”. When was the last time you actually used the word “money” when you were asking for money?

Much of this obliqueness (is that even a word?) comes from our fears and discomfort around money. We’re not supposed to talk about money. We’re not supposed to ask other people about their money. We’re not supposed to volunteer how much money we make or have in our bank accounts. Why do we have these fears? Too many hypotheses to put into this post. Suffice it to say that most of us have some fear or discomfort around talking about money.

Well, here’s a new hypothesis for you. How about asking for exactly what you want?

I just heard all of you gasp.

What, you don’t want to ask that investor to actually write a check? You don’t want to tell the potential donor you need her to give you money? You’re uncomfortable asking a client to pay you dollars commensurate with the value you provide?

How do you feel when you think you're asking for money, and you get stuff like this?

Look at the flip side. Should you be frustrated when the investor wants to trade stock in her company for stock in yours? Would you happy if the potential donor gave you her nasty old office furniture instead of cash? Does your work suffer if you’re secretly thinking, “they aren’t paying me enough”?

Be clear about what you want. It makes it much easier for people to give it to you.

If you’re still uncomfortable using words like money, cash, dollars, income, revenue and profit, you might want to check out my special report: 10 Biggest Fears Professional Women Have Around Asking for Money…and How to Conquer Them! You can get it by filling out the form on the right.

Or, get yourself the newly-released How to Ask for Money Quickstart Program. Three powerful tools to help you overcome your fears, embrace your leadership qualities and ask for—and get—the money you deserve.

As much as it may pain me to admit it here, I watch “American Idol“. I enjoy living vicariously through the candidates (the ones who get through to Hollywood, of course!), and listening to the comments from the judges. Every so often there is a great nugget that can be used by the vast majority of us who will never be in the Top 12 (or 14, or 150…).

Last night, two such nuggets came from my (usually) least favorite judge, Kara DioGuardi. First, she was commenting on the former-Barney-kid-turned-dominatrix who sang an En Vogue song, Erica Rhodes. What she liked about the performance was that this woman was completely and totally herself. Erica fully embraced and embodied her desire to be viewed as a true grown-up, not just a grown-up Barney kid. Oh yeah, and she could sing. The point is, the skill took a back seat the fact that Erica fully believed in herself.

Kara’s second important statement of the evening was directed at Christian Spear. This 16-year-old is an 8-year cancer survivor, who blew through Etta James’s, “All I Could Do Was Cry”. After the other members of the judging panel sang the praises of Christian’s skill, Kara said (something like), “You performed utterly without fear. Your confidence is amazing in a person of your age.”

Erica and Christian had less than a minute to get their points across to the judging panel. If Kara can pick up on their inner confidence (and, presumably, other contestants’ lack of confidence) in that short a time, don’t you think that your prospects can get the same vibe from you? The point?

Skills are noticed second to confidence level and the performer’s belief in herself. Does your belief in yourself match up to your skills?

I just finished my latest Special Report, and wanted to make sure you get your copy. It’s a special report on the 10 biggest fears women have around asking for money. Not only do I list the fears, but I provide strategies overcome them, and links to resources to help you implement those strategies.

Fill out the form on the right to get your copy now!

Are you a woman struggling with…

• Running out of money for your startup?
• Possibly cutting salaries at your nonprofit?
• Asking the right price for your consulting services?

Asking for money is not just about the words you use. You can download tons of sales scripts off the Internet, and you still might not be successful. Over the ten years I’ve been working with women leaders, sooner or later the same issues come up around asking for money:

• Am I (or my organization) really worth that much money?
• How do I know the right amount to ask for?
• What do I do if the prospect says no?

Do I know what I’m talking about? You betcha. I’ve raised over $26M dollars for startups and nonprofit organizations. I’ve dealt with all of these issues and more. I often wonder how much more I could have done, and how much money I left on the table, if I had tackled these issues earlier in my career.

How do I know I’ve overcome these challenges?

I raised over $3M for a nonprofit organization last year, during the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression.

Now I’m sharing my expertise and mentoring with women who need to successfully ask for money…right now!